We all have a story, and this is ours, which began about 19 years ago:
WARNING: Mushy gushy alert!
I never believed in love at first sight. I thought that it was just infatuation disguised as love. Then one day, on my first day at a new job, in walked my soul mate. I now attribute this to soul recognition as defined by Dr. Brian Weiss. Five seconds later came the realization that he had a baby. And a wife. Just my luck! Well, I was 23 and he was only 20, though both of us are old souls. Later I would find out that he was already in the process of getting divorced. But that first day I felt a yearning for him that I thought would never be fulfilled. I can't explain why I thought he would never look my way, even after finding out that he was available. Maybe it was because at that time I was about 20 pounds overweight and lacking confidence. Maybe it was because wherever he went, Jason always drew every woman's eye--no matter their age--and how could I compete with the masses? He has a charm that makes everyone love him. At the time he had light brown/blondish hair and blue/green eyes (not my type, believe it or not), but he was, and is, so hot! Unfortunately, I am a bit of a jealous person, but not to where it gets out of hand. So for a couple of months I kept my crush to myself, suffering in silence, never even imagining that he could be interested in me.
I now have his perspective to throw in. During this time period he noticed me, as well. I don't know if it was that first day, but it didn't take long. He blames it on my eyes. LOL He says that's what caught him and reeled him in. I laugh out loud every time he tells me the story of how he thought that I would never look HIS way, and that he was plotting and planning ways to use his charm to lure me in. I laugh because it's just so ridiculous! I am a very shy person, and I think when it comes to the opposite sex, he can be a bit shy, too--though he is an extrovert by definition. For some unknown reason, he is humble and truly doesn't view himself the way everyone else sees him. So for over two months, we both danced around each other: Me pining in silence but sending my unreadable signals to him, and Jason trying to come up with a way of asking me out without asking me out.
The details of how we finally began are all his, since I had traumatic amnesia (which we will get into later) that has left me with some lingering holes in my memory. Apparently, I finally starting giving him some signals that he could read, and it started when I told him that I had a dream about him the night before. When I have vivid dreams about people I know, I always ask them if they had the same dream, because without explanation I've always believed that one day they would say yes, they had! Well, he hadn't had a dream about me the night before, but at least he knew that he was on my (subconscious) mind. And then he says I shared my Ghiradelli cheesecake with him. I loved my cheesecake! I think it was me rolling his silverware for him--a much hated task--that clinched it for him. After that, he was finally able to catch "the looks" I was giving him. I don't know what the looks are, but apparently men can read those loud and clear. Thank God, or we may never have gotten together!
So he says that he planned some "group" activities that he could invite me to. At the conclusion of the second group outing, he was sure I was interested, and I do remember what happened next. We were watching Ace Ventura, Pet Detective with the gang, and we were both hating it. He reached over and held my hand, and as he put it, I never let his go. I can only tell you how I felt: It was truly my dream come true. I had never wanted something so much in my whole life as I wanted him, and thinking that he would never be mine, it shook my world when it finally became a reality. That was the first and one of the few times that I have ever cried tears of joy (driving home that night alone, reliving the first night of US).
For about two months we both were the happiest we had ever been. We never fought, and my only complaint was not having enough of his time. He was 20, after all, still wrapped up with his guy friends, and of course taking care of his baby, who he loved dearly. He was such a natural with kids! But every moment we spent together was the best of my life. There's no other way to describe it. I had been in love before, but this was so different. In retrospect, I think a lot of it had to do with us being empaths--which neither of us knew or recognized at the time. We literally FEEL each other's feelings, which makes love so much better as it builds and flows. The highest emotional highs were even higher with him, and there was no question in either of our minds that this was what we wanted. We loved getting together playing board games with friends, and they all hated it when we would team up because we won every time. One evening while playing Pictionary, I was drawing (I am a terrible artist) and he was guessing, and two of the answers he got without difficulty were British Isles and Citizen Kane. How do you draw that? I couldn't. Nobody could believe it. I couldn't believe it! We couldn't explain it (although we can now). It's what we call the "connection," the mental/psychological/emotional link we share. Neither of us have ever had this with anyone else.
He is so unique. I didn't know then that he treats me differently than he treats others. Don't get me wrong; he's a nice guy and has tons of friends. So many people love him, but he makes a conscious effort to always treat me with respect, kindness, and consideration. Always. He is also very anti-chauvinistic. He's not an angry person, but it does make him angry when he sees a woman being talked down to or mistreated, no matter what the circumstances are. He is also one of the most tolerant people I know. He never judges people on outward appearances, race, or sexual orientation. I love his mind (he has above-average/genius intelligence). I love his laugh, and the way that he makes me laugh all the time. Best of all, he thinks I'm funny! I make him laugh until he turns red in the face and cries. I don't usually have that effect on people. If I could have created the perfect man from scratch, I know I would have created him. I always tell him his only flaw is that he is too stoic at times, but I probably need that to balance out my emotional side. And his stoicism and his great imagination have helped him through his hardships. He tells me that my flaws are I don't like his taste in music, and I hate onions. :-P
He really is my perfect match. I have analyzed our compatibility in a variety of ways, from our personality profiles (I am INFJ and he is ENTP, which is a match made in heaven), we share all but 1 component according to Mayan astrology, and we share the same life path and are both 30/3s. But we have enough differences to keep things exciting and fun.
I tell you all this not to make you want to gag; though we have inspired that in so many. We were actually banished from the house where we all would hang out because we made everyone sick with our lovey-dovey talk and PDAs. But you need to know this to understand how we made it through what was coming, otherwise it wouldn't make sense to you. We were in for rough water...
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